Will your next home be determined by someone else? Part II

Dear Friends,

I hope you're well.

With all of the events I mentioned previously, we've been on the run while I'm ill with one virus after another. I'm sure that's not a coincidence!

In my last post, I mentioned our family member "Terry" who has had to make a decision about moving to a new community.

It was such a difficult decision for Terry as there was a belief, as I suppose there is for many of us,  that Terry's home would be "it." No more moves, no strange places, no details to tend to. Just death at home and the relatives take care of the details.

The problem with that assumption is that one's future really is unknown. It's hard to imagine needing to change every idea about your life and independence when you've been healthy and active.

We go through life accumulating stuff. [George Carlin had a funny bit about "stuff" so I'm providing a link. His language can be a bit blue so if you're sensitive to that, don't click.] 

We save up or impulsively buy and treasure all kinds of "stuff" and eventually may have to downsize. All of those things you looked at and enjoyed for years may not fit in your new place. Cherished items like crystal glasses or china are expensive to buy but sell for a pittance. The younger generation doesn't want things you loved so much. It is a harsh reality.

Terry is now going through some items and it's hard to weed things out and think about how little money those items will sell for, if they can be sold at all.

I asked Terry to think about it like this: if you buy an expensive sofa and enjoy having it around for 30 years, you've gotten your money's worth. A beautiful vase has paid for itself by decorating your place and maybe holding some flowers. Getting caught up in what you think it should sell for versus the reality will only depress you.

If you are able to age in place, you might still want to start going through papers and clothing, old photos and memorabilia. I spoke with a man whose parents died within weeks of each other and it was left to him to go through a house they lived in for almost 50 years. They kept every love letter and card, new and used gift wrap and all kinds of other items because you never know if you'll need them. That situation only compounded his grief and then created some anger that this was what his parents left for him to fix.

If you have some comments, you are welcome to share. If it looks like spam or advertising, I will delete so it's pleasant for everyone.

Take care,

Marcia